As many of you may already know, I decided to leave my job at the UN on January 31. For one thing, the project I was part of since 2018 was set to end in January after a 6-year run. I could’ve searched for another project in my UN agency or I also could’ve applied to other posts within the UN. But in the end, I decided to make a clean break and stop working altogether.
This was undoubtedly shocking to many of my colleagues and friends, especially those who work at the UN. As many of you know, working at the UN comes with certain perks and prestige – to start with, you get special health insurance (which is a gold mine as health insurance coverage is very limited and/or expensive in Switzerland). Spouses and children receive special grants and benefits as well. You also get a special passport and as you move up the UN hierarchy you can get diplomatic car plates and tax benefits. Also, working with the UN comes with prestige and pride.
Giving up these opportunities seemed like a huge loss to many, and my UN colleagues found it particularly baffling that I would voluntarily take unpaid time off. This decision may seem paradoxical given all the advantages I just described, but several key factors led me to this turning point.
1. Taking a Breather
Working at the UN is a huge privilege, but it also comes with immense pressure and responsibility. I always avoided making even the slightest political statements on my social media and stayed neutral on controversial issues. As a civil servant, I needed to remain neutral but also diplomatic, as the smallest comments can stir things among member states and donors.With political unrest all over the world, our work is affected no matter which area you work in. I worked in environment and trade, and my project was unrelated to the conflicts happening in the world; yet they had ripple effects in our work as well.
As you can imagine, the UN is also very bureaucratic, and it’s not easy to navigate through systems, processes, and administration, which could seem quite suffocating at times. Working long hours on complex issues was also very challenging.
The amount of work was also immense and weighing. While it was a privilege to be able to travel to over a dozen countries during my time of service – this wasn’t the typical corporate travel with a few meetings and client dinners. It wasn’t about attending conferences and going to lavish soirees either. I was organizing conferences with government ministries and leading discussions and panel sessions that required months of preparation. On top of that, as recent news shows, the UN faces financial difficulties, creating capacity and human resource challenges that force staff to take on multiple responsibilities. It was all a lot.
This is not to say that I hated working at the UN – I loved the push and challenges. I loved working with different partners, and it was an honor to be able to serve and assist different countries. I’ve met the most wonderful colleagues and partners. But I needed to take all of this in and be able to take a breather. My mind was at full capacity, and I thought that I would not be able to work at my full capacity if I switched immediately to another project or organization. I wanted to take the experiences and knowledge from my 7 years in the UN and be able to take it to the next level.
2. Hitting the Midcareer Mark
Last year I read a Japanese book called “40歳の壁” which roughly translates to “The 40-Year-Old Wall.” It basically discusses reconsidering your worklife as you hit the 20-year mark of being in the workforce, which is roughly midway through your entire working career. With 20-25 years left until your retirement, the book asked the question: “Where do you want to head for the remaining 20 years of your career and also beyond? Can you imagine yourself working in the same career for 20 more years?” I definitely hesitated on this answer and needed some time to figure out what I really wanted. The book also introduced me to the concept of a “Midlife sabbatical.” Now that you have an established career, the book encourages you to explore what you have done and design the next phase of your life.
3. Recovering from Burnout
I suffered from burnout in October 2024. It may not come as a surprise if you know me well. I work extremely hard. My core values are made of grit and persistence. So it’s not hard to imagine that my burnout hit quite severely.
I knew I was tired and exhausted from work. But it finally hit me when I came back to work after a 2-week vacation. Initially, I thought that I was jet-lagged. Then weeks passed, and I was feeling more tired than ever. I even had bouts of dizziness.
At first, I thought I was sick and had a series of blood tests done, but all came out normal. Then my doctors suggested that I was going through burnout. This came as a bit of surprise, as I had just come back from vacation and thought I had gotten sufficient rest (which, in hindsight, was not—I planned an entire 2-week trip to Japan for my husband, traveling to 5 different cities).
While this caught me by surprise, it also made me realize that I needed to make a hard stop on the things that seemed normal to me, including overworked working days and doing up to 5 meetings per day while taking 2 classes.
4. Rethinking Priorities
My father suffered from a brain hemorrhage at work last year. Luckily, the bleeding was minor, and he did not suffer from a stroke. Did I mention he was 82 years old and still working? This also made me reflect about work. He never made enough to become rich, but I know for a fact that he has enough money for his retirement. Yet he is obsessed about earning more. He barely takes 3 weeks off for vacation every year and has never even dined in a fancy restaurant in his life.
He always dreamed about retiring and living in a house in Japan in the countryside. But now with his condition, this is no longer possible. Do I want to be like that in 40+ years? I’d rather be enjoying my retired life with loved ones and being in a place I love, doing the things I love.
I also got engaged last summer and got married at the end of January, so it really made me rethink my priorities in my life, as I now have a partner. I really needed the time to reflect on how I wanted to construct my life with him.
Looking Forward
Three months into my sabbatical, I can confidently say that stepping away was exactly what I needed. This time has allowed me to decompress, reflect, and reconnect with myself in ways that weren’t possible amid the constant demands of my UN career. The privilege of having space to think clearly about what truly matters to me has been invaluable.
This is not to say it’s all roses. Although I planned for my sabbatical for years and meticulously budgeted my funds, there’s always unexpected costs that incur, including unexpected trips and medical costs. I had created extra layers of emergency funds for these kinds of things, but it still was surprising to see that my bank account was draining faster than I expected.
While I don’t have all the answers yet about what comes next professionally, I’m approaching this phase with curiosity rather than anxiety. I’ve realized that success isn’t just about prestigious positions or financial security—it’s about creating a life that feels balanced and meaningful according to my own definition, not someone else’s.
As my therapist has told me I need to approach myself with kindness and compassion which meant for me, I need to give myself a period of pause and recalibration. Whether this sabbatical leads me back to the UN, a completely different career path, or to a new area of expertise – I don’t know. I do know that this period of reflection will inform whatever comes next.